Just another ordinary trying to do something extraordinary.

 

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

(Source: secretsbest)

anfonymackie:

do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw

i havent slept in three days

multipack:

do u ever go to school confident in what ur wearing and then u actually get there and ur kind of just like wow well this was an awful idea

(Source: ihaveremade)

the-guardian-of-fun:

julialost:

High five to all of those who aren’t native english speakers and who sometimes have an english word they actually KNOW and UNDERSTAND but just don’t know what’s it called in their own language

Bless.

catlover839:

archgayngel:

captain-irrayditation:

irrhythmic:

captchaloginbreadcrumbs:

[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

this is not ok

telling time just got 300% more confusing

aesthetically interesting, cognitively nightmarish

Teacher: What’s the time?

Me: *Mental breakdown*

(Source: ddnjapan)

ciarachimera:

aspensine:

aspensine:

ATTENTION!!!!!
This girl is believed to be in extreme danger. She went missing from her home in Grovetown, GA yesterday morning and is believed to be with a 28 year old male headed towards Oklahoma. Witness reports say they saw a young female who looks like her trying to climb out the back of a black SUV in Richmond County before it drove off erratically. Her name is Meghan Cotner, she is 18, and this is COMPLETELY out of the ordinary for her. She left her phone, her keys, and her car behind. This is not believed to be a runaway.
Please share no matter where you are and help return her to her family or at least make a safety call or something. Signal boost, tumblr!!!

Please repost this guys!

I hope this is the post you were wanting me to signal boost.

ciarachimera:

aspensine:

aspensine:

ATTENTION!!!!!

This girl is believed to be in extreme danger. She went missing from her home in Grovetown, GA yesterday morning and is believed to be with a 28 year old male headed towards Oklahoma. Witness reports say they saw a young female who looks like her trying to climb out the back of a black SUV in Richmond County before it drove off erratically. Her name is Meghan Cotner, she is 18, and this is COMPLETELY out of the ordinary for her. She left her phone, her keys, and her car behind. This is not believed to be a runaway.

Please share no matter where you are and help return her to her family or at least make a safety call or something. Signal boost, tumblr!!!

Please repost this guys!

I hope this is the post you were wanting me to signal boost.

slayboybunny:

everyone who thinks im cute because theyve seen my selfies online have got a nother thing coming tbh lol……………. cameras cannot pick up how beautiful i am in real life

The point of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

the point of pouring a shit ton of ice water over yourself is because when one suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) one of the affects the disease has is a numbness throughout the body, as well as struggling to breathe, and both these are meant to temporarily happen when doused in freezing water. It’s to raise awareness of what ALS feels like and encourage donations towards research and cures.

(Source: aristoxxcracy)

soulsareforlosers:

captn-bucky:

best-of-memes:

Artist attempts to create most frustrating products imaginable

IM SO ANGRY AT THE WATERING CAN OMG

this makes me so uncomfortable

hipster-trichster:

marina-peixes:

svvords:

Why are shorts called shorts but pants arent called longs

she wears short shorts I wear long longs

she’s cheer cheerer and i’m on the sit sits

(Source: wasiangod)

literaryghoul:

unless your teachers are abusive assholes there is no fucking reason to disrespect them

they are literally trying their hardest to get you an education

teachers have every right to complain about rude students or the amount of papers they have to grade because their salary is low as shit

oh wow, your math teacher yelled at you because you were ignoring the lesson and talking to your friend

i wonder why

jesus christ teachers have it hard enough dont be an asshole

(Source: chatotai)